Your move: Try on a variety of labels, presentations, and pronouns until you find something that feels right. Nor do you have to go all-out on high heels and lipstick to embrace a high-femme identity, if that doesn’t feel authentic. “You don’t have to commit to butchdom for your entire life or chop your hair off or use different pronouns,” they say. “What’s most important is that you’re expressing yourself, your gender, and your sexuality in the ways that make you feel affirmed,” Underwood says. Lesbian, after all, is an identity label regarding the people we love, date, or f*ck, not necessarily about gender presentation, Underwood says. You can, if you choose, identify simply as lesbian. However, you don’t need to identify as butch, femme, or by any other lesbian gender. And often, these terms come with a rich history. These terms are known as ‘lesbian genders’ and work to name a few gender expressions within lesbianism. If you’re on lesbian TikTok or have been reading up on lesbian history, you may have heard of lesbians identifying as butch, femme, or futch - or by terms that are exclusive to Black lesbians, like stud and stemme. “If you feel particularly caught off guard by your sex dream, it might function as fuel that encourages you to explore your sexuality in other ways,” she says.īut if the only reason you’re Googling “am i lesbian?” is because you had a sex dream… no, you’re not a lesbian. You fantasized about having lesbian sex (even if you don’t actually want to have lesbian sex IRL).You recently read about, spent time with, or thought about a non-man who you admire.You talked to your lesbian or queer BFF about a recent sexcapade recently.We also have inbox and other great features for you to take advantage. We have a messenger you can use to communicate with other people. There are no costs and everything you see is free of charge. Getting started is easy and you can be talking to other women within minutes. You watched “lesbian porn” at some point recently. Welcome to free lesbian chat rooms where you can meet other women.You watched “The L Word,” “Below Her Mouth,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” or any other movie or TV episode that featured a lesbian relationship or non-man on non-man kiss or sex scene.There are many other reasons you might have a “lesbian sex dream” that have nothing to do your sexual orientation, she says. “Having sex with someone in a dream isn’t the same as being a lesbian,” says Katrina Knizek, a lesbian and sex therapist who specializes in helping people explore their sexuality. Your dreamscape alone isn’t reason enough to doubt your sexuality or to begin identifying as a lesbian. Am I lesbian if I had a spicy sex dream with someone of a similar gender?
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